he loves the girl all right.

Usually when I get home from work, I grab a beer, grab my phone and walk outside to the front steps to call this loser. And when our conversation ends, I finish my beer, bury my head in my hands only to run into this loser who by the look of my situation concludes I have serious problems...

But there will be no head burying tonight folks, I am JAZZED!

welcome to big leagues kid.

Another closing shift at the ol shop.
I dont know if you guys are familiar with saturday closing shifts at coffee shops
- but -
you generally cater to the recovering alcoholics, straight edge folks and blind dates.
which is fine with me.

The night opened with a really beautiful encounter between me and a black man who was driving a really nice car and blasting my favorite station kool108.
I was sweeping up the cigarette butts on the sidewalk and he was cruising by, only he didn't cruise by really fast he slowed way down and hung out his window, and gave me a look like "hey my darling what are you up to?" and I gave him a look like "Don't I look hot sweeping up cigarette butts?" if you dont know what this look is like you are truly missing out.

As I cleaned the bathrooms I noticed a small little bit of graffiti by the door knob. "Impeach" Now normally I'm pro graffiti, I like it, it generally adds a nice amount of pizazz. But "Impeach" really frustrated me. I mean I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you're talking about a president. excuse me the president. But I mean you're at a coffee shop, a coffee shop run by 20 something women. Yeah we all think presidents should get impeached. We're hipsters. And your graffiti is unoriginal. If I see graffiti I want it to tell me something, something I never knew before. "Johnny has a small cock, don't suck it" That's at least useful to me. Then if I ever meet a Johnny I can sort matters out right from the get-go.


Later on in the evening this woman came in who was even more white trash than I am, if you can believe that... She actually scratched her vagina at the cash register...
Anyway she came to the counter and word for mother fucking word this is what she said.
"See we were all sitting here and we were like man it's really freezing so I was like should we go outside? but it was freezing outside so I asked this other lady are you freezing? and she was like yeah Im super freezing so I asked her do you think it would be rude to ask them to turn the air conditioner down?" okay so then she looks at us. And my co worker says "Oh yeah of course" and she turned the air conditioner down. Which is nice of her, because I totally would have been like "Okay so now are you asking me if I can turn the air conditioner down, or are you still talking to the lady?"

No lies today.